The Definitive Ranking of Kath & Kim Episodes

On the 16th of May, 2002, my life changed forever - and for the better. This fateful day marks when the foxy ladies of Fountain Gate graced my television screen at the mere age of 6, and truly made heaven a place on earth… AKA my rumpus room.

Because of the significant imprint Kimberly Craig (née Day) and Kathleen Darleen Day-Knight have had on making me the questionable young woman I am today, it only seems fair I give back. Alas, I will be soliciting THE definitive ranking of all Kath & Kim episodes that Australians have been oh so blessed to ingest. 

Siri, ploise play The Joker by Gina Riley

3. The Shower (S2, E7)

This episode features the sole scene which undoubtedly will live rent-free in my mind for all of eternity… And for that, I am perpetually grateful. 
Two words: Sandy Freckle
Three words: Baby playpen showdown
Need I say more…?
This episode introduced the nation to the ORIGINAL ‘Fuck Boi’ that was Sandy (Mole) Freckle. If you need reminding, we meet Kel’s treacherous BFFL Sandy - who naturally tries to pull a Mr Steal Your Girl on Kath and her crowning glory. 
I mean, he’s only yuman. 
This naturally results in a fight to the death in Epponnee’s new playpen, after the boiz (Bretty, Kel, and Sandy) have had a night out at the wrestling. *toy squeaks softly in the background*

2. 99% Fat Free (S3, E8)

Needless to say, this episode was a regal combo of the SOLITARY beings that mattered to Australians in the early 2000s…
Kath & Kim, and Kylie Minogue.
I think it is a given that any episode where the Picasso of Aussie Pop, Kylie Minogue, is playing future Epponnee-Rae on her Wedding Day - is going to be a certified blinder. Pretty upset that I am still not sure if this strange prophecy was ever fulfilled TBH, considering this was all but a ~dream~ Kath had after her doctor told her and Kel to lay off the fat free fruches.

1. The Mango Espadrille (S3, E2)

Make no mistake, choosing my favourite episode of Kath & Kim is what I imagine choosing a favourite child is like. Unpleasant… But necessary - and who could forget when Kath, Kim, and Sharon flex their best *carrot* fascinators and bubbly to get “literally legless” at Melbourne Cup. To be put simply, there’s everything you could ever want in this episode of Kath & Kim… Drunk middle-aged women, Australian D List Celebrities, and Ooh La La brooches. Who knew the birdcage was so debaucherous?!?! I’ll go as far to say that this episode is a cinematic masterpiece, ending on a high when Epponnee absolutely shoots her shot at Bubs Idol. Naturally, she blows Mark Holden and the crowd away with her stunned mullet routine… TOUCHDOWN.