What Jobs We Think Our State Premiers Would Have If They Weren’t In Politics

Random ramblings is really getting into the thick of it now. Let me set the tone, we live in a parallel universe… Full of sunshine, lollipops and rainbows - where politics is not present. Unfortunately, that means Donald Trump still exists, but just not as president. 

Quite frankly, that’s good enough for me. Regardless, it has gotten me thinking, what the fk would our premiers do for a job if they had decided to do literally anything else???

Because let’s be real, I am SURE they have all considered pursuing a different career route in the last 12 months. Onya, rona!


Annastacia Palaszczuk

I can conclusively say that old mate Annastacia would 100% be a school P.E. Teacher. She is that teacher that you well and truly do not want to fk with because she will have no problem putting you in the naughty corner, like she has to all of Australia’s other states when shutting the border to Queensland. 

She would have no problem singling you out in front of the rest of the class, and telling you “you’re being very rude” for asking a question, or breathing.

If Bianca Stone was a primary school student, you can just hear “Mrs. Palaszczuk” barking at her: ThIs Is NoT oN, BiAnCa!!!


Gladys Berejiklian

Gladdy without a shadow of a doubt would be a yoga teacher bc she is 11/10 chill always. Sometimes annoyingly chill - because she just expects everything to work out. Ahhh yes, don’t worry doll, those cases will get rid of themselves with ~mindfullness~

Glad is so maxo relaxo that I truly believed her when she said “it took me a while to learn to spell my own name”. That’s when you know she truly doesn't give 2 fks. Who needs a name when you can just simply ~heal~

I wonder if her new boo is into downwards dogs and crystals.

 

Mark McGowan

Daddy McGowan is serving BDE energy in whatever world we are living in, don’t get it twisted. I can see Mark working as a barrister TBH, and a spicy one at that.

You definitely wouldn’t want to go up against Mark McGowan in a courtroom… But I’m sure a few legal secretaries wouldn’t mind going up against him in the printing room xx

I’m not saying anything more without my lawyer present, Daddy McGowan.


Dan Andrews

Dan Andrews would be working at Tradie Underwear because his dying passion in life is keeping things brief. While he isn’t designing the latest in mediocre undies; he’s expanding his puffer jacket collection, avoiding slippery stairs, and living his best self described “golf tragic” life. 

You know full well that in any parallel universe, he is getting ON THE BEERS.

Steven Marshall

*Yawns*

All Steven Marshall does is close borders and get outshone by St Nicola - but I guess Steven needs a job too in this kooky non-political sphere. 

Upon research I have found that before entering politics, Steven Marshall ran a furniture manufacturing business. Weird flex, but ok. I don’t judge… 

So I can only assume that Steven would be chasing all his wildest armchair and cabinet dreams.

He also has a Marketing Degree so either that or he works in PR at Sweaty Beaty.

I wonder if he and Roxy Jackeno are getting along. 


Peter Gutwein

NGL, before writing this article… I had no idea who this man was. 

From this, I reckon this guy has it all figured out. If people don’t know who you are, they are less likely to abuse you or your fashion sense. From all my political accreditations* I can confirm that Peter Gutwein would be living life in the slow lane in Tasmania. Tassie is famous for their produce so I can only stereotypically assume one thing, that Peter Gutwein is a salmon farmer for Tassal.